Blog Post

Here is what June 2026 brought me:

My family had the traditional family dinner for my nephew's birthday, went to a Korean place and had many meats. It was so good! I am obsessed with hot pot type of restaurants. I want to cook it myself, thanks, just keep bringing me plates of meat. I know what I'm doing for my family birthday dinner now...

meats and sauces on a hot pot restaurant table

Korean BBQ.

Board games day with friends I haven't seen in a while. I don't remember the games we played (I'll have to start writing them down) but it was a lot of fun.
I got a new phone, it was preconfigured with so many AI features that even after turning off 6 different things, I still have features pop up out of nowhere and ask if I want to use AI to accomplish some goal I have never had in my life.
At lesson we're learning "Greedy Fly" by Bush on drums, so my inner 7th grader is jumping up and down in glee.
Lots of crying during therapy this month. Dealing heavily with imposter syndrome and rediscovering my values and my connection to them.
I've had a lot of time off this month for various reasons and I'm incredibly spoiled by 4-day weeks.
I went to a community craft night and made a minizine about imposter syndrome for myself and others to keep as a reminder. Some day soon I will scan this so people can print their own. The craft night was so fun! I'll be out of town for the next few but I'm excited to go again in fall. I might actually host a zine workshop later this year too!

colorful minizine on a table in front of sparkling water, cookies, and colorful pens

Imposter Syndrome minizine at a Bring Your Own Craft (BYOC) night.

Didn't think much about social media or using it too much, after 2+ years of working on this I'm finally getting to a point where I don't care anymore. I don't have to "force myself" to stay off. It's easy, I don't even think about it. HOWEVER I have been using blog aggregators like they're social media and doom scrolling/reading cynically titled posts. I am not a fan of the "ranking" things so I don't participate in that but I still catch myself refreshing it as if it's my personal feed and I need these strangers to entertain me. So the habits behind social media aren't gone. I still have the desire to go to particular sites for the fix...
I found gluten free Texas toast and coupled that with Digiorno gluten free pizza and had the best meal I've had in a while. I mean I make myself food all the time and I like it but it's been SO long since I've had Texas toast.
I didn't do any pride things, but I did get pride mail. A few postcards, a card, and one of my besties sent me a pack of "a trans person peed here" stickers that are making me aware of how little I pee in public. I also sent postcards to 16 people on my list to wish them a good month.

poscards and cards celebrating Pride Month

My pride mail... okay some cheating, I sent the ghost pride postcard to myself.

It was a highly productive month as far as creativity goes (not that I'm measuring productivity, but I produced a lot of things). I made several zines, worked a lot on a new personal site, and did lots of work on my digital garden. I did a ton of research about the Quilting Bee and went diving through my archives to find old quilt layouts and activity patches. This will be part of the new site once I get it up.
The month wrapped up with beach weekend. Every year my family goes to a beach or lake or some other fun place for a week or long weekend. We bring our work with us and hang out together (or introvert-out and avoid each other depending on moods). It's not always the same people every year but I try to go because it's nice to get away. I slept a lot and read a lot and did little else.
Read the book Forest Euphoria: The Abounding Queerness of Nature by Patricia Ononiwu Kaishian end to end, it wasn't quite what I expected based on the description but I ended up loving it anyway. I've been picking up new habits around observing nature since I started my seasons blog, but this book was like a booster pack for that interest. Not only am I "simply observing" but I'm also now taking pictures of things and looking it up on iNaturalist and learning more about how the world works. I'm also starting to think more of my body as a queer part of nature, not something I need to "consolidate gender" into. My thoughts on my body (or all bodies/humans) have evolved since reading this book and understanding the scientific context a little better. It's probably stuff many people know now but I haven't updated my science knowledge since college so I know my brain is out of date.

Beach Weekend

It's a privilege to have family that I like. I didn't for a long time (I'll be honest). Therapy helped us all - not that we did it together, but that we were willing to do it at some point... and that we were financially capable to find good care. That's something not everyone gets in life.

I've been in therapy on/off during life, off mostly, even though I knew I needed it. This could have been for many reasons - access limits, financial realities (no insurance or no coverage), resourcing/time (especially pre-virtual appointments), major depression/anxiety, or because my previous therapist dumped me because I was "too self aware" and "didn't need therapy" (this happened 4 times). It takes me a few years to go back and find someone else after that shit.

I don't know how many times my family members went, or if they're still going, or what they talked about. But I know that since my parents did couples therapy a few decades ago everything has been different, and since my mom did therapy by herself, our relationship and the ability to have conversations has gotten better. It helps also that I've gone to therapy.

Beach weekend was a good example of the impacts of that sort of thing. We were able to have a very open, somewhat jokey but still serious conversation about how they fucked us up emotionally as kids. When a friend or therapist validates that's one thing but having your parent tell you directly not only they understand what they did, but can explain specifically how they did it and why they were wrong for that... Damn. That's a new feeling.

I feel it again and again each time I think about it. It's like having a bunch of things settle into place. Even with validation from friends and therapy (and the internet and memes), there is still always this nagging feeling that "maybe that was just my interpretation of it." There's no room for that thought anymore. That's what it feels like.

sunset showing grey and orange clouds over a shadowed beach and water — Sunset over the ocean

deep grey and orange clouds surrounding sunset over a row of beach houses — Sunset over beach houses

Other things about beach weekend:

We went to Norfolk, VA, in the Ocean View area. We often go to VA Beach but this was a cheaper option just 30 mins away. The whole mood was different but it was still a good time.
It was pretty stormy all weekend and also incredibly hot and humid. Not a lot of outside time.
We bought & played FIFA 2026 Monopoly. I am not a soccer person but my nephew is and therefore we are a soccer family. It was actually a lot of fun, and I'm looking forward to playing again soon. For some in the family, beach weekend was also about World Cup games, but I was probably asleep.

FIFA 2026 World Cup Monopoly — My cards after setting up to play the game

Flag banner that says Phoebus Pride next to a sign with a person walking — Peep the "no kings no oligarchs" sticker

12 foot skeleton in a front yard wearing USA gear — Big Skeleton: Independence Day Edition

My family "at the beach" could mean any variety of things but for the most part what it actually means is my family near the beach. We like the ambiance of beach, the culture. The smell of salt water on the breeze and the sight of sand next to water. When we had younger kids around we did go to the beach but generally now, it's only for a morning/evening walk, to take the dog out, or enjoy the view for a bit. I like going to a historical site, a bookstore, and buying a ghost story collection for the region (which I couldn't find this time, so I'll find one online instead).
We also ate homemade meals (instead of restaurants though there were a few around), went to Phoebus, VA, for their book & comic shops, watched several movies (Superman/2025, Click, The Batman/2022, Happy Gilmore 2), and drove around in search of an old car that my dad saw and wanted a picture of but couldn't find again. (Probably haunted.) During that journey I spotted several giant skeletons.
Zenny came and she really loved the windows. At home we have two windows that start at the floor so aside from her trees and platforms she doesn't really have a "ledge" experience. She goes with me to the yearly vacation and hides in our room the whole time but if I encourage and coax she will sometimes come into another also empty room. She does not like to be around other people or animals, they are noisy and unpredictable. (Same tho.)